Mediation: The impact of the presence of an avoidant personality

Most models of mediation put forward two key tenets: focus discussions between the parties on the future rather than the past and foster creativity in finding a win-win solution. However, in the context of mediation, recent research suggests that this procedure cannot work with Avoidant personalities (Nelson, Albeck-Solomon and Ben-Ari, 2011). In addition, the same study suggests that the probability of encountering avoidant personalities through mediation is relatively high.

Depending on the type of attachment theory, an Avoidant personality will try to flee from the conflict in an obsessive manner. Thus, they avoid talking about the conflict and will be extremely reluctant to engage in a process of finding solutions. It is the fear of contact with the other, exacerbated by the conflict, which nourishes these behaviors. More specifically, an Avoidant person would have difficulty being creative (i.e. finding solutions) and have difficulty considering future contacts (i.e. agreements that maintain some form of relationship) through mediation (Nelson, Albeck- Solomon and Ben-Ari, 2011). Since this is a personality trait, the mediator must be able to deal with these challenging relationships.

Although the authors do not offer specific solutions, clinical experience suggests some strategies. In the context of mediation, three strategies seem to be particularly helpful:

1. Use the caucus because it avoids direct contact between the parties. This limits the fear of contact with each other.

2. Aim for simple solutions that require little future contact between the parties. This limits the level of contact between the parties that is necessary to implement the agreement.

3. Consider proposing solutions. In fact, since creativity is severely limited by the avoidant personality, the search for solutions can be a very frustrating experience for the other party.

Although these strategies can unlock the impasses related to the presence of avoidant personalities, it remains that the mediation process will be less rich and unsatisfactory. Indeed, the presence of avoidant personalities does not allow the full potential of mediation. However, one of the roles of the mediator is to sufficiently control the mediation process and adapt mediation strategies to the characteristics of the parties involved in a conflict.


Reference

• Nelson, N., Albeck-Solomon, R. and R. Ben-Ari. 2011. "Are your competing insecure and does it matter? Attachment and disputants' speech falling on Mediation ", Negotiation Journal, 27 (1), p. 45-68.